May I Ask a Question?
by Ugly.Paper.Swan
Summary: Shizuo was a soul floating freely in a confined space. For a long time, this place is the only thing he knows. Until, a voice in his head grants him freedom, which he took out of curiosity. Based on the song "Order Made" by radwimps.


**A/N : Another one-shot. Someone requested something based on this video on Youtube (Link in my Profile) and I made this as a response. Enjoy~**

**The song was "Order Made" by Radwimps. :)  
**

**Disclaimer : I don't own Durarara! or the song Order Made. They belong to their respective owners.  
**

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Silence. Darkness. Emptiness.

That was all I could feel in this cramped place. I waited patiently for an eternity, the core of my essence floating freely in this small container. Waiting forever for my turn.

_How long has it been?_, I wondered. I floated some more, being as carefree as ever. I asked myself again. _What am I waiting for?_

Then, a thought that was not mine pierced my mind, sharp and clear with no hesitation.

"Hey, you," said the Thought. "I'm giving you a choice. The Past or the Future, which do you want?"

"For what? I don't need them," I thought back. "I'm happy here."

"For you to see. So which do you want?"

"What if I choose? What do I get?"

"If you choose, your waiting will be over. If you don't, nothing will happen," explained the Thought.

I contemplated for a while. Though this container is comfortable and safe, I feel bored. Maybe if I get out, I will be able to do something more. Maybe if I get out, I can float somewhere else.

"Then…" I thought back. "Show me the past."

"May I ask why?"

I answered back. "So that I may be a kind person, instead of a strong person. So that I may finally come to understand what these words mean."

"Words? What words?"

"I don't know. For as long as I could remember, I've been thinking 'Don't forget these memories, don't forget these memories'…What are 'Memories'? Something of the past?" I questioned the Thought.

The Thought paused, seeming to search for an answer. I waited patiently. I've waited for an eternity, what is a little more waiting to me?

"Something like that."

Suddenly, the container confining me opened. Yet I still saw nothing, heard nothing and felt nothing. I floated out and ventured forwards before being stopped by the Thought again.

"I will give you a pair of arms, legs, mouths, ears, eyes, hearts, breasts and two holes for your nose. Isn't that great? Two of everything!"

I thought again. "But why would I need them? I'm happy with the way I am now."

"To give you a form. So that you may hug the ones you love, walk freely on Earth, speak what's on your mind clearly, hear the many sounds around you, see all the colours, feel the spectrum of emotions, retain all the emotions within yourself and smell the fragrances, be it good or bad."

I floated around in a circle, and wondered whether I should take Thought's offer. But I've came this far, might as well continue and go with the flow. I bobbed up and down to show my agreement.

"But, wait!" I thought in panic.

"Yes?"

"Before you give me those pairs, may I ask for a small favour?"

"Out with it, then," came the Thought. I thought there was a little irritation in the Thought's intonation, but I dismissed it.

"May I have only one mouth? I'd hate it if I were to fight against myself should I have two mouths. And I want to be able to only kiss one person, the one very special to me."

The Thought agreed as it gave in to my demands. I watched as my fluffy form grew bigger and formed distinctive shapes with my new pair of eyes. The arms formed first, then my legs. I felt for my ears as they formed with my hands and touched my nose and mouth. I spread my hands across my own chest, but somehow it feels empty.

I looked around in the vast whiteness and saw another person, sitting on a chair. He motioned to me to sit with him on another chair in front of him. As I did as he told, I took a good look at him. He had raven hair and a handsome face. I asked in my own voice, "Who are you?"

The answer made me gasp. Not because of what he said, because I doubt 'Who know?' was such a surprise, but rather the voice itself.

A series of images flashed in my mind, too quickly for me to make sense of them.

_An empty pudding cup, an unknown man, a lollipop, that same unknown man slashing me, a boy wearing glasses who looked very much in pain as I twisted his arm, that man again and again…who was he?_

"Ugh."

The man in front of me asked, "Is there something wrong?"

I shook my head and clutched my head. "My head hurts. I don't like these images forming in my mind. I want to forget them, but I really can't. What are they? Do you know?"

The man smirked. "But, boy, they are what you call 'Memories'."

"Memories?"

"Yes. You wanted to understand them, right? Or do you not want them anymore? Want to change your gift of the Past to the gift of the Future?"

"No thanks. They hurt, but they made me happy. I will keep them."

"Then, so be it." He made a frown. I found that it's such a shame for such a thing to mar his handsome features. He continued.

"We have little time left. This is the last pair and the most important one. I'll put a heart in each side of your chest. Now, isn't that great?"

Another sets of images flashed through my head once again.

_An arm reaching towards me. It's the unknown man again. He was grinning as he put a blade against my neck. I grinned back with the sharp end of a stop sign against his neck. Our eyes meeting._

My head hurts again; the flashing images are creating discordance in my mind.

I looked down to my feet and I looked back up to him. "I'm sorry, but may I ask for another favour?"

The man raised an eyebrow, but he said nothing else, so I continued with my request. "I'm sorry for being selfish, but I don't really need a heart on my right side."

"And why is that?" the man questioned me. I replied as honestly as I could.

"So that when I finally meet that important person and hold them in my arms, I will be able to sense immediately that our two hearts are beating on both sides of our chest. So that I can say to them, 'The left is mine and the right is yours. The left is yours and the right is mine.'"

The man regarded me carefully, his right index finger tapping his cheek in thought. I resumed my words still.

"So that when I'm alone, I will feel incomplete. So that I will continue to long for my other half."

"Then, so be it." He inserted the heart in my chest.

Almost immediately, my heart started to twinge painfully. The pain in my head started again, this time coupled with the pain in my chest. It really hurts and the pain is overflowing, but sadly, I cannot cry out.

_Words, a lot of words, washed all around me…drowning me in their familiarity. That man again. Who is he?_

"Ah, there's one more thing," said the man calmly, even though he had just witnessed me falling to my knees. I looked up to his smirking face. It seems familiar. "Should I add tears as an option? But I understand if you don't want it, most people think it's troublesome. You will still be fine without them. So what will you do?"

Another flash of image.

_A young me was lying on the hospital bed, trying hard to be strong._

I regarded the small blobs of tears floating in the man's hands. I remembered how numb I felt at that hospital bed, so I asked for them. In the hopes that I may become a kind person instead of a strong person. So that I may understand what 'Importance' is.

"Then, so be it," said the man again as he took of my glasses. The tears he held seeped into his hands and he ran a thumb on each side of my eyes, wiping it down to my chin. He said once more, "The tears have many flavours. There's sour, salty, hot and sweet. I'll let you choose one, so choose wisely. Which one do you want?"

I replied that I wanted all of them to which he said in return, "Don't be too greedy, you will regret it one day. But regardless, so be it."

And as soon as the man gave those tears to me, they flowed out of my eyes. The overflowing pain from my Memories can finally be let out. The tears flowed so much, that some even splashed to the white floor. I looked away in shame.

But the man held my head in his hands, refusing me the right to turn away. He leaned his head closer to mine and asked.

"I've given everything that you've asked for. Is everything to your liking?"

I sobbed, still trying to look away. "It hurts. These memories hurts! But they made me happy somehow, so yes, I will keep them."

He gripped my head harder. "Then show me your face that is always crying, proudly now!"

I cried out as loud as I can. Releasing my frustrations into his surprised face as I smiled as well, freeing the pain from my chest. Somehow, seeing this man in front of me made me happy. I sobbed quietly on his shoulders. For a while, we stayed that way until I finished crying.

"Right, that's it! We're finished!" exclaimed the man as he put my glasses back on. I blinked at him in confusion, just standing there.

"Finished?"

"Yes, finished." He grinned. He turned around and waved at me. "This will be the last time we see each other. Goodbye."

I stood there. This time, my heart wrenched harder than before, almost as if it wants to leave my chest; leaving me so lonely and incomplete, wishing so hard that he would just stop and stay with me.

But he wouldn't and I stood there crying. That is until I heard him faintly saying, "Shizu-chan."

As recognition filled my eyes, I ran after him with all my might and managed to grab his hand. He turned around in surprise.

"Thank you for everything and sorry to trouble you again. But I want to ask you one more question!"

He tried to run away. I held on to his hand harder when I saw the tears in his eyes.

"Have we met before?"

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**A/N : Yes, yes…I know…I should try to continue with my other incomplete fics. BUT I'M NOT SORRY, I TELL YOU!**


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